Who Are We?

The Occoquan Pasquinade is the humor collective behind National Pasquinade. We are the man behind the curtain, the tail that wags the dog, and, before you ask, no, we have not been talking to the Russians. There is a closed Facebook group for members only.

The group’s founder, also the Editor-in-Chief of the National Pasquinade, is Ed Lynn. Please refrain from commenting on his weight as he may become irate and rip off an appendage. People tend to like having their original appendages so, as warnings go, this is a good one. Instead, offer him a banana, or a well-written original comedy piece that’s suitable for publication. That behavior generally agrees with him.

The group’s co-founder and northeastern correspondent is the Midnight Tree Bandit. You can ask him about his name. He’s got a whole story, man. And, because he’s exiled himself and his bride to the farthest reaches of Maine, he’s got some epic facial hair. It’s a thing there. Really. Bits of food get trapped during the feast months, just to be retrieved during the frigid famine months when the couple are buried under twenty-seven feet of heavy snow. It’s all about survival. I read it on a Breitbart news site, so I know it’s true.

The rest of the Staff is comprised of awesome, talented people from all over the country. These awesome, talented people are the heart and soul of The Occoquan Pasquinade. At least they will be when we get more of them initiated into group. Currently, they are just standing around, waiting for us to give the word for them to start hearting and souling the shit out of the National Pasquinade.

What Are Our Intentions?

To write words.

Funny words.

Or amusing images, cartoons, or funny little doodles.

In essence, the regular bits in each issue of National Pasquinade: the fake letters in Marforio, suggesting songs that fit the theme for the Muselist, lists for Listeria, and any future sections the group may come up with.

But the group isn’t just about the magazine, it’s about humor, parody, satire, and generally making the funny people in the group funnier people. Think of it as a support group for funny folk.

But we’ve just started. The hope is that The Occoquan Pasquinade will grow and evolve as time moves in the direction it prefers to move.

Sounds Awesome. How Do I Get In?

Well, if you know myself or the Bandit, or another member can vouch for you, or you know a guy who knows a guy, we’ll add you to the Facebook group.

Otherwise, submit some short-form humor or cartoon/comic artwork to us at submissions@nationalpasquinade.com and mention in the email submission that you’re interested in becoming a regular contributor. The group will deliberate in our mobile war room, then a group of devout priests will watch for some colored smoke to emerge from the Winnebago indicating our decision. They’ll want to see purple smoke. Purple is good.

Short-form humor submissions could be fake letters for Marforio, list ideas for Listeria (with at least three items on each list), or something completely different. Whatever you submit, we’d prefer to see at least three, but no more than five letters, lists, or other stuff. Feel free to mix and match if that’s your jam.

As always, we recommend reading a couple issues of the magazine before submitting, so that you get a flavor of the style of humor for which we are aiming. They are always available to download for free on our Downloads page.

Do I Get Money For This?

No. But neither do I. This is a labor-of-love project for folks who love to write and draw funny material, and share that funny material with less funny people who have a well-developed sense of humor. I’ve been doing this off-and-on now for over thirty years, always for the love of the laugh, and never with the intention of making shitloads of money, just shitloads of laughs. Any money that has gone into this venture has been from myself alone, save the occasional donation.

Do I At Least Get Credit?

Sure. The name of each member (except for Bandit and myself, since we have separate credits) will appear in the credits as part of The Occoquan Pasquinade as long as you are a member at the time of publication.

In addition, if you have some other published work, a book, a website, etc., that you want to plug, we’ll work it in. We haven’t determined the details of how and where we going to work it in, but, living under the current administration’s fuzzy details on everything from healthcare to spitballing crowd size, we should all be used to it by now.

Cool. Thanks for the Info.

You’re welcome. Now, about that banana.