“It was a dark and stormy night; the rain fell in torrents — except at occasional intervals, when it was checked by a violent gust of wind which swept up the streets (for it is in London that our scene lies), rattling along the housetops, and fiercely agitating the scanty flame of the lamps that struggled against the darkness.”
— Edward George Bulwer-Lytton, Paul Clifford (1830)

In an ongoing attempt to jump-start your attempt to pen something uproariously funny, or at the very least amusing, here’s another jolt of inspiration for you creative types to use as you will.

Humor Writing Prompt #3: Inspired by, and in the fine and longstanding tradition (well, since 1982) of, The Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest, write, type, or word-process the opening sentence to your future self’s bestselling novel, any genre; this glorious sentence should contain, at the very least, fifty words, should contain no more than one semicolon, and unlike this run-on atrocity, should be funny on some level and convey something similar to a plot.

Share your results, or a link to your results if they’re longer, in the comments, if you feel so compelled. Happy writing.