Today is National Beautician’s Day, so this week’s Listeria honors that beautician or barber that gives it their all to make you look good in front of your colleagues in that mandatory meeting where nothing will be accomplished, or in front of all the other soccer moms who are most likely talking smack about that big butt of yours as you’re walking back to the minivan for a light sweater because you’re chilly.

Bad Things to Say to Your Hairdresser

• So, you’re like an expensive Flowbee, right?
• Can you drink that blue stuff? It looks tasty.
• Just give me the “Trump.”

To play, post your own on Twitter to @pasquinade with the hashtag #BarberFauxPas, comment on the post on our Facebook page, or comment here. I encourage you, as well, to share this post freely. The more folks play, the more there is to enjoy.

Note: The first twelve installments of Listeria are now closed. You can still contribute to those lists, but National Pasquinade No. 75 has been published. Chances, however, are really good that one of your posts will be featured in National Pasquinade No. 76.